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Archive for March, 2013

Gratitude Attitude

Well hey there, friends!

It’s been about, oh, eight months since my last blog post (oops), but hopefully you don’t hold any hard feelings (all two of you – hi, Rachel!).

Anyway, I wanted to blog today because I’m in an inexplicably good mood, and I just started thinking about all the reasons that today is great, and I thought, “Well hey! Why not write this stuff down?” So I am!

First off, I’m really excited, because I put down a deposit on our reception venue today!!! “Reception?” you say. “What reception?” Well, my wedding reception, of course, because I’M ENGAGED!

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Not the actual proposal – that was down at the Harbor in old-town Annapolis. This is in my living room.

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My pretty, pretty ring. It’s a sapphire with diamonds on either side and filigree all down the band.

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I kinda love him.

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This actually isn’t really very recent news (we got engaged January 19th), but I’m still pretty darn excited about it. Actually, this past weekend Anthony (my fiance, for any of you who don’t know me in real life) and I went to St. Louis, where he grew up. His family threw us a lovely engagement party, and I got to meet lots of his extended family, his high school friends, and lots of his parents’ close friends. His family is absolutely wonderful. They are so loving and welcoming. His mom has never had a daughter before (Anthony has one brother), and she is so excited for me to join the family! She’s also super excited about the wedding, and talking to her about all the planning made me get excited all over again.

I’ve recently come to the (rather obvious but still fabulous) realization that this is the one time in my life when I don’t have to feel sheepish about buying wedding magazines.

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This is sitting next to me right now.

Did I mention that THIS IS FABULOUS??? Yesterday I bought Martha Stewart Weddings, and today I bought Brides and The Knot, which is – not even kidding – SIX. HUNDRED. PAGES. Daaaaaang. I just want to sit and look at all the pretty sparkly romanticness of it all. I also created an Amazon wedding registry yesterday, which is an equally huge temptation to waste time. I just want to sit there fantasizing about my someday kitchen and adding ridiculous appliances and board games and who knows what else.

Sidenote: sometimes I feel kind of guilty that the fact that a amazing man and I found each other, fell in love, and decided to spend our lives together means that tons of people are going to be spending so much money on us, buying us expensive gifts and travelling long distances and just generally being incredibly kind and generous and loving. But then I think that maybe all the hoopla around weddings is really a way of celebrating and honoring a decision that seems so easy and natural and exciting right now, but will probably lead to times down the road when we’ll need supernatural help to get through: the struggles and the sacrifices and the times when living out a vocation as a spouse and a parent might seem more exhausting than exhilarating.

This morning on the metro into campus, I was reading Camp Patton. In her most recent post, Grace talks about her time in DC before she got married. Even though she’s having a rough month (she has a husband with an incredibly demanding job and three kids under three years old), Grace writes that she doesn’t wish she could go back to the time when her life was all about her.

It sounds hokey, I know, but her post made me think about what my mom likes to call a “Gratitude Attitude.” I feel like sometimes I’m so eager for the future to start – to finish grad school, to marry Anthony, to start a family – that I forget to appreciate my life here and now. I am so incredibly blessed to have this time when I, like Grace, get to be a single woman in DC, where there’s lots to do and tons of great people to do it with. I’m blessed to get to be in grad school studying something I love. And I’m blessed to have this time of preparation for my marriage; even though I can’t wait until September 14th rolls around, I know that this is an incredibly important time, and I want to take advantage of it to its fullest. Someday I’ll be married and have kids and won’t have a moment to myself, and I’ll try my best to be grateful for those times too – I know they’ll help me to grow and to expand my capacity to love in ways that I can’t even imagine now. But for now, I’m trying to just let go, stop wishing that I could fast-forward the next six and a half months, and be thankful for the present moment.

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